So recently my cat has become infatuated with a picture of Ringo Starr I have hanging up in my room
He only ever does this with ringo, not George, the only other picture he can reach, I thought maybe he actually liked Paul or maybe it was just the frame so I conducted an experiment
I decided to try out some different pics of the Beatles together and he still seemed to prefer ringo over the other three
I then tried out individual photos to see which he preferred and he stuck by ringo every time
Finally I tested a picture of the band from a different era where they looked different, at least to a cat, and he still preferred Ringo, thus telling me that my cat has a thing for Ringo Starr
1. Smell like a snack. Vanilla or cinnamon scents that have a sweet musk to them work best bc they release endorphins that are linked to sexual arousal.
2. Make sure you look fuckin snatch at all times. Keep your hair tamed with a brush or hairtie, moisturize ya skin daily, keep your teeth clean, keep your clothes matched and stain/wrinkle free, etc.
3. Act like you don’t need a man/women. Because you don’t. Girls that are confident and self assured get the most attention for sure.
4. Be smart. People are attracted to intelligence. Keep those grades up and offer the cute guys/gals of your class to tutor them👅
5. Smile and laugh a lot. Happiness is attractive as fuck.
6. Be nice to people. Compliment them, offer someone a snack/gum, don’t be a cold bitch.
7. Be tease-y, not easy. Don’t just sleep around with anybody and hope they come back for more; make it like you deserve to be worked for. When y'all are exchanging nudes, play with different angles to conceal the goods ever so slightly, and strip down to lingerie and ya naked body slowly, instead of just flat out sending them naked pics right away. Make sexual jokes every now and then, and if somebody offers to hook up with you as a joke or as a serious offer, just give them a smile and say “sweetie, you wouldn’t know what to do with me.” Lines like that keep ‘em crawlin for more.
8. Be touchey-feely (without being rapey, obv). Don’t be afraid to place a hand on someone’s arm/shoulder, or give someone a friendly nudge/shove when appropriate.
9. Draw attention to your lips. Wear a bold lip color every now and again, make sure they’re always moisturized and soft. Bite your lip gently or play with your lip absentmindedly when speaking to someone.
10. Develop pet names for people. Just a simple “thanks doll” when someone hands you something you dropped is all it takes to accustom people to it.
a few days ago i was walkin past a basketball court and a ball Flew at me and i
1) didn’t flinch
2) caught the ball
3) threw it back at the guy
4) responded to his “thanks bro” with a nod
it was like the ghost of some guy named chad took over me so i didn’t like embarrass myself
a bro talked to me today and it caught me v off guard but instead of my voice rising an octave it dropped an octave and i suddenly was effortlessly speaking Bro™ back to him. this resulted in a very positive interaction
thanks, chad
Reblog to be possessed by Good Ghost Chad in your hour of need
This is for my babe @tbholland who deserves the world and more. Thanks for putting up with all of my nonsense and being such a genuine and good friend.
You met him through a mutual friend, and when you needed a place to live in London while studying abroad he was more than happy to offer you his spare bedroom.
At first you were unsure about living with a guy, but it turns out you two meshed really well.
Tom’s job meant he was gone for long stretches of time, and you basically lived by yourself during that time, but when he was home you two were wonderfully compatible roommates.
Tom was neat but not overly-so.
He didn’t care if you were a couple days late on rent.
He always asked you if you wanted anything when he ordered take-out.
You two had regular movie nights, always having a couple drinks and way too much popcorn.
(More than once you had to vacuum out the couch in the morning after you’d thrown a few handfuls at each other)
There’s a long hallways in the apartment where you’d had a couple drunken sock-sliding competitions and honestly you’ve never laughed harder than when Tom fell flat on his ass.
Whenever you didn’t understand a bit of British slang Tom always “translated” for you in an exaggerated American accent and every time you were too impressed to be mad about it
Occasionally you had a bit of an awkward run-in when one of you was just getting out of the shower, but you never really minded seeing Tom half naked and wet.
Sometimes during the summer Tom would walk around without a shirt on, and it was very distracting.
But you got your revenge by wearing just a sports bra and shorts or leggings
You couldn’t deny the sexual tension between the two of you, but you didn’t act on it
You didn’t want to complicate things
But when you were tipsy and sharing a blanket on the couch you didn’t deny yourself the pleasure of snuggling just a little bit closer to him
Dating
You guys weren’t shy about your dating lives
Tom was more than happy to help you pick out your outfits for a date and vice versa
(You secretly were pretty happy the night you put on a new dress and you saw Tom’s eyes pop out of his head a little)
You’ve helped each other craft multiple texts to people
A couple times you’d catch a glimpse of a girl leaving in the morning and you’d look at Tom like “damn she’s cute”
And you tried to ignore the pang of jealousy in your gut
Tom would occasionally come home to you having a glass of wine with a guy on the couch and would politely excuse himself only to text you “really? that tosser?”
The bad dates outnumbered the good ones and you were always there for each other with alcohol or ice cream- situation depending
Oftentimes you found yourself wishing you’d just stayed home and hung out with Tom instead of going out
You tried to not read too much into that
Your first kiss
You’d been really worried that you would have to leave London when your study abroad program was up
And you really didn’t want to do that because you’d made so many good friends and loved your current life
So when the day came that you got accepted for an internship you couldn’t wait to run home and tell Tom.
You practically tripped over your feet rushing into the kitchen where he’s grabbing a beer, having just gotten home himself.
You slide across the tile floor on your socks excitedly and shout “I’M STAYING IN LONDON!”
And Tom is SO happy he can’t help but wrap his arms around you, lift you off the ground and spin you around.
Both of you are yelling from all the excitement
he finally sets you down and you don’t really know how it happens but suddenly his lips are on yours and it should feel weird but it doesn’t
After a second you pull apart and look at each other, both a little startled
You’re suddenly very aware of his hands on your hips and the way his chest is rising and falling under your hand as he catches his breath.
Then before anyone can say anything you’re pushing yourself back up on your toes and kissing him again.
This time it’s a little less sure and a little more questioning
and then he surprises you by reaching down and grabbing you by the thighs, lifting you up onto the counter
His hands move to your face and hold you steadily while he kisses you firmly and purposefully
You’re glad you’re sitting now because you know this kiss would have your knees weak
There’s a twist of excitement in your belly and you can feel your heart racing
Electricity hums along your skin and you can’t make yourself do much else than hold onto his forearms and kiss him back because if you let go he might stop and you never, ever want him to stop.
Suddenly his phone goes off in his pocket
He detaches his lips from yours to pull it out and you catch a glimpse of the caller ID
It’s the girl he’s been seeing lately.
Your heart swells a little when he rejects the call
He turns back to you and places his hands on your thighs, rubbing them up and down
